While there are lots of books about domestic violence and abuse, few are written for individuals who want to stop hurting the ones they love. That’s unfortunate. Even more regrettable is that many books for domestic violence perpetrators are not helpful. They make...
I often get questions about Lundy Bancroft’s book, Why Does He Do That? Despite this being the best-selling domestic violence book ever published, we do not include it on our recommended reading list. Some of inquirers wonder why, while others insist that we’ve...
The concept of emotional intelligence (EQ) has been around since at least 1995 when Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book was published. For me–someone who aced school and showed signs of a decent IQ yet struggled with life—the concept of EQ explained a lot. I...
When I was arrested for hitting my wife, I knew my behavior was wrong and fit squarely in the definition of domestic violence. I’d lost my temper, and in my rage, become physically abusive. I desperately wanted to change, but couldn’t help wondering: should I be in a...
Ever since I worked to stop my acts of domestic violence and abuse, I’ve been fascinated with theories that explain how people change. Why are some people successful, while others are not? Is there a factor that makes change easier? The concept of a growth mindset, as...
For many of us who have been violent with our partners, that violence came after something set us off. Certain words or situations generate extremely strong reactions that are way bigger than what is needed. Then, if you’re like me, regret sets in and you’re left...
Recent Comments